If there was an award for Most Time Wasted on Buzzfeed, I’m telling you right now I would be one hell of a contender.
You know in those all too regular times in your life when you’re standing around waiting for a bus that seems like it’ll never come, or you’re supposed to be meeting your friend on a bench somewhere but they’re late and AH STRANGERS ARE TRYING TO MAKE EYE CONTACT, AVERT EYES, LOOK DOWN, so you just aimlessly flick through things on your phone?
Normally Bloglovin’ would be “The One” for this situation but excuse me, do you even realise how much data WordPress uses?! Seriously, it’s a data stealer. Heed my advice: blog surf using WiFi only. You’ll thank me in the long-run.
Shamefully I also used to be a sucker for the Daily Mail. I know, I’m a heathen.
In my defence I never really used it to actually read the news, more to a) laugh at what they perceive to be newsworthy b) laugh at the comments from people who clearly have a warped sense of reality live a basement somewhere and c) read the fantastic true life stories they sometimes feature in the Femail section. This one time they had excerpts from a book about this girl who was “kidnapped, dumped and raised by monkeys” and it was absolutely fascinating.
I just googled it to get a link in case anyone fancies a read, and it turns out the Daily Mail were a good year late to the party, with more reputable news sources picking up the story way before them. So here’s the Guardian article.
Anyway, I don’t read the Daily Mail anymore because I can no longer kid myself that my few clicks a week on the website ‘can’t really be contributing towards its success‘. Except it can. Every little helps, as my friends at Tesco say. And who wants a xenophobic, homophobic, everything-phobic tabloid spewing out more falseties left, right and centre?
Also, they kind of have a really appalling proofreading service and the perfectionist in me just can’t be dealing with that.
So now that Daily Mail and Bloglovin’ are outters, I’ve turned to an old favourite: Buzzfeed.
And I’m kind of addicted. Seriously.
It’s like a big, black hole of completely pointless yet fascinating ‘articles‘ and a bunch of quizzes that have no logic or sense to them.
The quizzes are the best part.
The other night I saw a link on Facebook to a Buzzfeed article called “21 Tumblr Posts That Prove Hermione Is The Best Character in Harry Potter” and obviously clicked through because Tumblr + Harry Potter = a laugh a minute. “Yes,” I thought. “A nice quick read before bed.”
Nope. Before I knew it I was sixteen articles in and facing the incredible moral dilemma of whether I’d rather eat chocolate syrup with spaghetti noodles (just spaghetti would’ve been fine to be honest) or chicken. Apparently I’m in the minority with spaghetti but whatever.
One of the quizzes I ended up on was called… “We Know Where You Should Travel Based On Your Disney Preferences“.
Now, I sincerely believe that if we all lived our lives as dictated by Disney quizzes the world would indeed be a better place.
Just last week Buzzfeed predicted that, based on my favourite Disney princess (Pocahontas – although it was a close call between her and Belle), I’ll have four kids. Four.
Which is all well and good BUT a quiz like this could totally be grounds for divorce if you believe hard enough. Because what if you choose Pocahontas – four kids, great – but your partner/husband/wife/significant other chooses Rapunzel, who apparently means you’ll just have two.
Where exactly are the extra 2 kids gonna come from?!
Incidentally my choice of Pocahontas on a different quiz revealed that I “will trust again in 10 years and 7 months“. And let’s be real, my lack of trust probably stems from the fact that my future husband has a different number of kids to me.
I also took the Which Disney Princess Are You? quiz and got Jasmine, which, ordinarily I’d be pretty darn angry about but it’s the same result as the Rock and I can definitely live with that! Also, the explanation says: Daring and adventurous, you are considered the daredevil or you group. You enjoy having fun, taking risks and living life to its fullest.
Oh yes, I can definitely live with that.
But yeah, back to the Where Should You Travel quiz…
I probably spent a bit too long contemplating my answers to these questions and, based on my answers which were clearly heavily influenced by the Lion King, I got Oaxaca.
The Mexican state of Oaxaca, not the Mexican restaurant Wahaca.
It’s funny because I’ve actually already been (to both, but we’re talking about the state here) and definitely loved it and super wanna go back, so it’s kind of a coincidence how on point the answer was.
Curious, I went back again and changed just one of my answers. And what was the new result? Only my most favourite place on this whole lovely green planet – Machu Picchu!
So either all the possible results are coincidentally places I’ve been and would 100% go again OR the quiz makers and Disney really are full of magic and fairy dust and unicorn hair.
I like to think the latter.
So, if you have a few minutes do the quiz do the quiz do the quiz!
And somebody…anybody…if you have some productivity to spare, send it my way? I’m not cut out for this working from home by myself malarkey, there are way too many Buzzfeed distractions.