I Almost Moved to Mongolia (Not Really)

Oh hey there Internet, it’s been a while!

Two whole weeks, in fact. Cray.

The last few times I’ve intentionally stepped back from the blog (and social media in general) for this length of time, I’ve either been off on some really exciting adventure or somebody’s died.

Happy to say no-one’s dead; sad to say the most exciting adventure I’ve been on recently is a walk to the local chip shop for a sneaky little Saturday treat of chips and beans. And as much as I do love me a tray of potato-based goodness, it’s hardly worth a whole 1000-word dedication, ya know?

Jokes and potatoes aside, over the last few weeks I seem to have lost all motivation to do anything other eat, sleep, go to work and occasionally go for a midnight trip to the local 24-hour Tesco to buy a pomegranate.

I haven’t been active on the blog, I haven’t been active on Instagram (huge deal, I bloody love Instagram) and I haven’t been active on other people’s blogs, either. Meaning I haven’t read any. At all. Which sucks because catching up on what’s going on in other people’s lives is ordinarily my favourite thing to do when I’m lazing about in bed in the morning.

And all of this — my complete absence from social media, lack of inspiration in doing anything and general whatever attitude — can all be attributed to loneliness and isolation, brought on by a bizarre fixation with social media and virtual popularity.ย 

Those bloody blue ticks on WhatsApp and ‘Seen by‘ on Facebook have become the bane of my existence.

It’s actually quite embarrassing.

I mean, there comes a point when you really need to step back and take a good hard look at your life if you start questioning your worth depending on how fast your friends reply to your message.

But with that being said, it really says something when a dancing avocado gets a quicker response than your cry of “Hello, I am going crazy and need social interaction before I become a house plant“.ย 

I’m not going to harp on about something I don’t even know how to explain so, to summarise: over the past few weeks, I’ve begun to seriously lose my faith in people.ย 

Both in general and closer to home.

The state of the world is atrocious right now. All the terrorism, the murder and the downright crazy political situations we’ve got going on.

The state of my life is a bit wobbly, too. A company owes me a heck of a lot of money and is taking their sweet time paying up. I’m currently working 2 zero-hour contracts and a freelance job just to scrape together just enough to pay my rent (can anyone say financial instability?!), and I’m still coming to terms with the fact my mother isn’t here anymore. Because believe it or not, and contrary to what seems like popular belief, it takes longer than a couple of weeks to get over someone dying. It doesn’t matter how long you had to mentally prepare for it in the first place.

In short, I’d honestly started to consider packing up and going to live in a Yurt in Outer Mongolia. But just as I was about to hit ‘Purchase’ on that one-way ticket, a few things happened in relatively quick succession.

First of all, I got a postcard from the lovely LC (Birdgehls) all the way in Australia with a short but sweet message that really, really made me smile. Then, I got a few emails from JustGiving to let me know I’d received some donations towards my fundraising page — from LC, Chiera (Young and Undecided) and 2 others I haven’t quite managed to pinpoint yet (but I will because I’m a super sleuth).

Newcastle, Australia NOT Newcastle, England

Then, my best friend in the whole wide world (read: India) got back from his 5-day retreat finding himself in the wilderness, and it was so so good to feel like I had someone there, on my side, again. Then, I got a bloody lovely and completely out-of-the-blue email from Kia (Aspire to Amble) which, just like LC’s postcard, really made me smile.

And finally (and this may be the most bizarre of them all), I read Amy’s first pregnancy postย and it got me all weepy and smiley because good things do happen to good people, and even though the world is pretty crap right now, babies are still being born and that is good because babies are innocent and we need more innocence to balance out the evil.

In just this one weekend, my faith in people has kind of been somewhat restored. There are nice people, they do exist and granted, most of them are on the Internet and about a gazillion miles away, but does it really matter?

I like people again. The Internet is fantastic. Little things mean a lot. The End.

 

 

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8 Comments

  1. LC
    12th June 2017 / 1:44 am

    I’m so glad the postcard helped! This is why it is a practice that should never die out. A little postal delight can brighten up anyone’s day.
    These periods of life suck, but I guess they’re sort of necessary in a way – how would you ever appreciate the good times if you didnt have a comparison point to work from? Thank goodness most things pass – the money will eventually come, friends will reappear in your life and grief can be likened to the waves of the ocean – the tide will constantly come in and out. That being said. I wholeheartedly support your backup yurt plan. And also really miss 24hr Tescos.

    • rhiydwi
      19th June 2017 / 10:31 pm

      Oh definitely! It’s the 2nd postcard I’ve got this year, and also the 2nd postcard I’ve got in the past 10 years probably!
      24-hr Tescos are the best. Where I’m from in the Valleys, we have no little shops within walking distance that are open past 8pm, so the luxury of having an actual full-size Tesco open 24 HOURS A DAY just around the corner is so incredible. It’s also apparently the largest Tesco in Wales so, you know, big deal.

  2. 12th June 2017 / 9:41 am

    I love this post, it’s so nice that sometimes just the littlest things can have the biggest impact! I’m really, really happy that your faith in humanity has been somewhat repaired (and that I could be a part of it!) Please never disappear to Outer Mongolia xx

    • rhiydwi
      19th June 2017 / 10:32 pm

      I’d only disappear there for good if they had WiFi ๐Ÿ˜‰ xx

  3. 12th June 2017 / 2:01 pm

    I can relate to this post so much. I felt completely separated from my blog and didn’t want to be online, came back and then sort of lost my mojo again. The news has been … Hideously depressing and Twitter’s reaction to that can sometimes feel ghoulish almost.

    I also know sadly how infuriating it is to get taken the p**s out of by clients. I had a client last year pay every invoice late and i’d find myself waking up in the night thinking about it. I hope that you get paid ASAP!

    This post was making me smile all the way through, as like Kia said above me, sometimes the smallest things can really make a huge difference. Then I got to the last bit and now I’m all weepy! Thank you for your kind words, it really means a lot. I couldn’t agree more, the internet is amazing and I’m so glad I found you and your blog through it. I always get excited when I see you’ve written something.

    • rhiydwi
      19th June 2017 / 10:35 pm

      So I read your comment a few days ago on the bus, checked my emails straight after it and had an email from late payment bloke with payment advice slip showing it’d be in my account within 36 hours. Now I’ve been paid and can afford to eat more than pesto pasta every day! From now on you’ll be known as my lucky payment charm, thank you very much!

      Awww, you’re so sweet! I don’t think I was as excited when my own sister was pregnant as I was reading your baby announcement tbh.

  4. 12th June 2017 / 5:23 pm

    It’s the little things in life like Saturday night treats, pomegranates and postcards that get you through the rough patches ๐Ÿ™‚ (For me the “little things” are the occasional box of Magnums, or trying out a new bakery.) I’ve had a number of bouts of loneliness and homesickness this year, but as with most things, they usually pass with time (and a little TLC). The idea of relocating to a yurt is definitely an enviable one in unstable times like these, though…!

    • rhiydwi
      20th June 2017 / 10:04 am

      I’m pretty sure mainstream British media and the goings-on of Donald Trump don’t quite reach yurts in the wilderness! ๐Ÿ˜€ it’d be an absolute blessing haha.

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